Mau Tai Shot 6

Greg: Gambai! *chug* *pause* *assess* I'm okay! That one didn't hurt as much. For some reason.

Mau Tai Shot 5

Dude, which shot is this? I totally thought it was 4.

Greg can't talk. Woohoo!

Mau Tai Shot 4

I'm belching it, and it burns.

Quote of the moment: Abstract expressionism is the highest form of murder. --Seanbaby

Mau Tai Shot 3

One of us is topless.

Mau Tai Shots 1 & 2...

...pass without event.

101.9 All Christmas All the Time

Greg (downstairs, in earshot of the radio): Sarah! You're missing Mariah Carey!
Me (upstairs, thankfully not in earshot of the radio): Excellent! You know what's great? I'm cleaning the bathroom, and I'd rather be cleaning the bathroom than listening to Mariah Carey.
Greg: Can I clean the bathroom?
Me: No.
Greg: Be careful. I'm never going to ask that again.
Me: I know. But I get the bathroom and you get Mariah Carey.
Greg: *pouts*

Numb Nuts PC Update

• Numb Nuts asks COL if Y is possible.
• COL asks me if Y is possible.
• I tell COL Y is not possible. I also mention how many times Soloist and I have already told Numb Nuts that Y is not possible. I tell him to tell Numb Nuts to use X.
• COL tells Numb Nuts Y is not possible, and to use X.
• Time passes.
• Soloist tells me X is off, and we need to pull some manner of Z out of the air.
  
  I'll keep everyone posted on this 'un. Should be good.

Poopy

I swear I sent a Numb Nuts update from my mac, and it's being ignored. Why does everyone hate Mac OS?

*sniffle*

It never hurt anyone. It's practically Unix!

Numb Nuts

Me to Numb Nuts: Give me your address so I can send you X.
Numb Nuts to Me: *nothing*

Me to Soloist: Give me numb nuts' address so I can send him X.
Soloist to Me: Here's the address. He wants Y instead of X now, but I told him Y isn't possible. Is that correct?
Me to Soloist: That's true, Y isn't possible.

Numb Nuts to Me: Soloist said Y was possible.
Me to Numb Nuts: Y isn't possible. Give me your address so I can send you X.
Numb Nuts to Me: *nothing*

Codify your Codes!

In case you're ever looking at Elinor Remick Warren's website, please note that NN stands for NYPL, CLU stands for UCLA, and DLC stands for the LOC.

Convenient!

Tempo! Tempo!

"Molto moderato" --Arnold Schoenberg, "Variation 5," Theme and Variations, Opus 43a

Useless Program Note du Jour

"La Reine de la Mer" was sometimes performed under the title "Queen of the Sea."
--Paul Bierley (who should know better)

Plan C

AF Band: The law does not apply to us!
The Law: Yes, it does.
AF Band: Okay, plan B. We ignore the law!
The Law: Like hell you will.
AF Band: Okay, plan C...er...we'll CHANGE the law!

*sigh* This will not end soon. I hope they have a plan D. I suggest: adhere to the law, like everyone else.

Consistency? Bah.

Here's the set list of the CD I'm cataloging right now:

Timepiece (2001)
Chamber Symphony (1993)
Stomp Igor (1998)
Canvas (2000)
Vortex (2000)
First Suite in E-flat (1909)

I can totally imagine the lead-up to that.

"Modern music is hard! My brain hurts."
"Yeah, but the CD is only like 40 minutes long."
"Eh, slap the Holst on the end. At least we won't have to rehearse it."
"Hey, yeah! Then we'll have a track anyone besides us will ever listen to!"

What I saw...

...Greg's nerd friend buying at the grocery store, in toto:

Toilet paper
Milk
Pop Tarts
Frozen Pizza
Doritos
Ramen

Never say "never." Or "only."

SGM K: ...and that's why Fort George G. Meade is the only post that uses the general's full name.
Me: Well, there's Fort Leonard Wood.
SGM K: And Fort Sam Houston.
Me: Right.
SGM K: So I guess it isn't.

Now that's rubato!

From a music catalog...

        Duration: 10'-26'

Look, just pick one.

The US Virgin Islands have a state song ("The Governor's Own") and a national anthem ("The US Virgin Islands March").

Who wants to tell them? Oh, I will. *ahem*

ATTENTION, CITIZENS OF THE VIRGIN ISLANDS. YOU ARE NEITHER A STATE NOR A NATION. YOU ARE A TERRITORY. WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE GUAM? YOU NEVER HEAR GUAM COMPLAINING AND MAKING UP THEIR OWN SONGS.

The PT Test is Over

Bad news, folks! For six whole months you're going to have to judge people on merit instead of body fat percentage! Uh-oh!

Yeah, baby! II

Said dial is labeled "Dial-A-Nap."

Yeah, baby!

I just noticed our cheap old vacuum has a dial on it with settings for "LOW," "MED," "HIGH," and "SHAG."

Sept Dances

MAJ: What's this "September Dances?"
Me: No, it's "Sept."
MAJ: Right.
Me: Like, seven. Dances. Sept Dances. Sept.
MAJ: I don't get it.

sw33t

The good news: I just found a music dealer whose phone number ends 1337.
The bad news: he almost certainly doesn't get it.

Others count successfully

Me: Librarysergeantanderson.
Mike: Fifty-nine minutes.
Me: Excellent. Next time shoot for 119.

Others count down for me

Mike: Is Beth around?
Me: Nope.
Mike: I'm trying to find the senior person. McGhee is next.
Me: Tell him to dismiss us.
Mike: That's the plan.

La Fille du Cadiz

Me: It makes me laugh that there's a jazz band arrangement of this.
Jazzer: Why?
Me: Well, it's an opera.
Jazzer: It's a Miles Davis tune! It's very famous.
Me: Jackie sang it a couple of years ago.
Jazzer: It's Miles Davis!

Another day of counting down

148 minutes.

Is THIS Your Score?

COL: Could be. I rarely look at them.

Bizarre Song Title du Jour

"Attack on Undying Oompah" for brass quintet

City Most in Need of a Map

South Boston, VA

Things the Colonel Didn't Say to Me Just Now

"Oh, God. I'm brain dead!"

Froogle

COL:  Is that froogle like cheap, or froogle like Google?
Me: Yes.

I take it all back

I've always asserted that jazz music has the dumbest tune tiles of all.

I have just found an orchestral piece called Mxyzptlk. The orchestra wins.

A New Level of Procrastination

Should have done: vacuuming.
Actually did: arranged a capella jazz version of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

Am I teeming with a lot of news!

There's an arrangement of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" for handbell choir.

You know, in case you needed one.

How's Work?

I'm actually counting the minutes until I can leave for the day. That rarely happens.

Only 195 minutes left.

Because It's Pretty.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/edmonds/edmonds255.html

Actually, no! By carrier pigeon!

Me: I just sent you a pdf of that.

Guy from Illinois National Guard: Over email?

Birchmere Schedule Yields Humor

An Evening with BEA ARTHUR
Date: Thursday 9/22/2005
Time: 7:30 PM
Cost: $55.00
Buy Tickets
"Ms Arthur, with her friend Billy Goldenberg at the piano, in a warm & funny evening filled with stories and songs from her triumphs and tribulations over the course of her career. Ms Arthur takes you on a journey packed with the humor and wit for which she is so well loved."

ps- Mike is accepting tickets for this.

A Day in the Life

Basically work's been going like this:
1. do some stuff
2. play KOL
3. think about doing other stuff
4. realize said stuff could be done by "volunteers"
5. make list of things for volunteers to do
(next day)
1. fail to get any volunteers
2. do the volunteers' work
3. repeat

So I'm getting my work done, just a day later. I wonder when this'll start to catch up with me. I predict Tuesday, August 9.

Check me out!

Blogging skillz increasing exponentially.

Now I have two. Soon, four. Then, madness.

Open Letter to Gregory Clark

Dear Dr. Clark--

Do I have to turn this blog around? I may rename it "Less Greg Than Ever."

Open Letter to Adolphus Hailstork

Dear Dr. Hailstork:

It's very simple. If we can't get copies of your tunes, we can't perform your tunes. See how this works?

cc: Theodore Presser

Inescapable

Yeah, I'm now one of them. The people who think anyone else cares about their opinions.

See, this is what happens when I don't have anything pressing at work. I start poking around online, and suddenly I'm a blogger. What can I say? I'm weak.