Seriously, we talk like this

Me: Pretzels are scalable. I mean, tortillas are scalable, too, but not as
much.
Greg: Tortillas are quantum. Pretzels are continuous.

The State of Classical Music

Adrian: Nobody riots at premieres anymore like they used to. They just complain about it on their blogs.

The Beach Picnic Explained

Mom: Sunday night we're having a beach picnic with the Simpsons.
Greg: What's a beach picnic?
Mom: You go down to the beach...
Me: ...with food...
Mom: ...and you brush the sand off your hot dog...
Me: ...and you wonder if that's salt or sand...
Mom: ...and when you start chewing, you find out.
Greg: Ah.

Science!

Me: What's a good-looking guy like you doing with an eyebrow like that?
Greg: Mad sciencing.

I may not be a jazzer, but I'm jazzier than some

Orchestral librarian: Is “Jumpin’ at the Savoy” in that medley?

Me: No, no, no, you stomp at the Savoy and you jump at the Woodside. Where would we be if people just started jumping wherever they felt like it?

The Postmodern Chemistry Set

Mike: Firefox extensions are the new guy-DIY thing to do around the house. It's totally the "Oh, I can fix the toaster" of the 21st century, except without the electrocution or kitchen fires.

Technically, it can be both.

Greg: That's an interesting idea.
Me: No, that's a terrible idea. What the hell's wrong with you?
Greg: It's that, too. I just said it was interesting.