From Detroit down to Houston, to the oceans white with foam

Me: Apparently one of our encores this tour is "God Bless the America."
Jane: I shudder to think who wrote that.
Me: Irving Greenwood?

Surprise! We're Capable!

Librarian of big famous orchestra: So...what are you sending?
Me: We're sending--actually we have sent--the new anthem, Let Freedom Ring, and Stars and Stripes in the band key, which is Ab to Eb.
Librarian: Oh! And did you send...real parts?
Me: Yes.
Librarian: Oh! And scores?
Me: Yes.
Librarian: Oh! And...how many strings, if you recall?
Me: 8-7-6-5-4.
Librarian: Oh! And how did you send it?
Me: FedEx.
Librarian: Oh! To my attention?
Me: Yes.
Librarian: Oh! I guess...we're all set then.
Me: Yep.

Pleasure Doing Business With You

Me: Hey, I need to go through a bunch of money real fast. Can you charge my card and let me carry a balance?
Vendor: Sure. Lemme make sure I have the right account...okay, how much?
Me: Two thousand dollars.
Vendor: Okay, we'll invoice you.
Me: Great.
Vendor: Anything else?
Me: Nope, that's it.

Tell Him I'm Not Talking To Him

Jonathan: I'm giving you the silent treatment. That's how we adults deal with conflict.