Never say "never." Or "only."

SGM K: ...and that's why Fort George G. Meade is the only post that uses the general's full name.
Me: Well, there's Fort Leonard Wood.
SGM K: And Fort Sam Houston.
Me: Right.
SGM K: So I guess it isn't.

Now that's rubato!

From a music catalog...

        Duration: 10'-26'

Look, just pick one.

The US Virgin Islands have a state song ("The Governor's Own") and a national anthem ("The US Virgin Islands March").

Who wants to tell them? Oh, I will. *ahem*

ATTENTION, CITIZENS OF THE VIRGIN ISLANDS. YOU ARE NEITHER A STATE NOR A NATION. YOU ARE A TERRITORY. WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE GUAM? YOU NEVER HEAR GUAM COMPLAINING AND MAKING UP THEIR OWN SONGS.

The PT Test is Over

Bad news, folks! For six whole months you're going to have to judge people on merit instead of body fat percentage! Uh-oh!