Failure to Communicate

Greg: I'm sorry, I parsed that as English.

QED

Greg: If I'd known that, I wouldn't have contradicted you.
Me: You shouldn't contradict me in general.
Greg: I disagree.

Command Decision

LTC: ...and it's going to cost $3500, and they can't get it to us until February 15.
COL: I'm not paying $3500.
LTC: Exactly.
COL: Who has the balls to charge $3500?
Me: It's the only source. They're in the Netherlands.
COL: Tell them to pound sand.
Me: Outstanding. Do you know how to say that in French?

Quote of the Day

I hate it when I'm not even there for the quote of the day. Regardless...

Bill: Well, that was quite a Colonel-ex-machina.

Better Him Than Me

Yesterday, my cousin Kyle delivered his first son, on the floor of his bathroom, sometime between calling 911 and the paramedics arriving.

Ya think the neighbors wondered what all the screaming was about?

Seen Here, in Fig. 1

Greg: I don't remember what a monkey is.
Me: That's awesome. I'm gonna write that down.
Greg: Does that have to go on the blog, he asked with trepidation?
Me: Oh, hell yeah.

Another New Rule

If you cannot spell the solo you are requesting, you cannot sing that solo.

Fun Typo

"New York Nippodrome."

More Grove's Fun

Bladder and string. See Bumbass.

Today's Fun Fact About Sir William Sterndale Bennett

"Later he studied composition with Crotch."
        --New Grove's

Totally Different Fight

Me: Pants.
Greg: No pants.
Me: Pants.
Greg: No pants.
Me, whispering: Pants.
Greg, whispering: No pants.

Duh.

Greg: You put that on the blog? I'm offended!
Me: Dude, any time you start yelling that your garlic salt is not gay, that's pretty much a guarantee it's gonna be on the blog.

Well, true.

SGM: We love to redo work.
Me: Yeah, 'cuz what's more fun than Oslo version 3?
SGM: Oslo version 4.

Foiled!

Me: Doesn't it say something, though, that I love you even though your garlic salt is gay?
Greg: *pause* You're just trying to bait me!

Fight Continues

Me: Do you think your garlic salt made my rice gay?
Greg: MY GARLIC SALT IS NOT GAY!

Fight!

Greg: You're stating two different fallacies now! There are tiny elephants, and my garlic salt is not gay!
Me: There are no tiny elephants, and that is the gayest garlic salt I have ever seen.
Greg: How much garlic salt have you really come into contact with?
Me: Plenty!
Greg: I'm willing to bet that at least 50% of the garlic salt you have ever seen is more gay than mine.
Me: I assert that there is no garlic salt as gay as that. It is the most gay garlic salt.

A poem

Aeon Flux
was worth three bucks.

(doo dah, doo dah)

Photos I Wish I'd Taken, Updated Daily

Home on the Fringe Daily Photo

The Guest Conductor

Me: He says the one we have is the wrong edition, but the right edition is out of print. We're going to borrow TUSAB's set.

COL: Is it a different tune?
Me: No.
COL: So he's going to be one of those.
Me: He's going to be a bit of a diva, sir.
COL: Oh, he's a lot of a diva. He likes to be the center of attention.
Me: But conductors are never like that, sir!
COL: Aw, bullshit.

Bad Line Break @ Boosey

Great Choral Works: No
Orchestra Needed!

New Rule

No Sousa Vocals.

Seriously. They need to stop. They aren't good. At all.

Revelation

Jenn: Now I know why there isn't a door there--because I would slam it!

Brilliant New Musician Motto I Just Came Up With

Don't be the reason rehearsal had to stop.

The Prep Conductor Speaks

LT: Let's go back a bit. With all these page turns, I don't know who to believe.

All-Girl Metal Band Name

Fussy Parts

Band Name, courtesy of Washington Week

Toxic Cocktail

Deterrent

Joel: I got married when I was a month shy of my 20th birthday. I mean, the chance of that working out is like one in a million. But at least it kept me from getting hit on by the gay guys when I was at the University of Michigan...actually, no, it didn't.

You gotta take the openings the world gives you.

Mikki: How far is it to Pluto?
Eddie: Further than Uranus.

A Concert Band Moment

I just put Music for Prague in its proper place in the alphabetized bins: right between "A Motown Medley" and "Over the Rainbow."

Noun String of the Day

holiday concert streaming madness

Who needs march scores?

Me: The score box went before this last spate of marches was added. But you know what? They're in 2.
LTC: And when the band stops, turn around and bow.

Sex Scene for E-flat Clarinet

(apparently to the tune of "Santa Baby")

Measure 1: "pull out"
Measure 29: "push in"
Measure 53: "pull out"
Measure 67: "push in"

Mau Tai Postscript

Okay, now we're drunk.

And we're still belching it.

Happy New Year. Yee haw!

Mau Tai Summary

Don't belch it.

The end.

PS- Gambei!

Mau Tai Shot 9

Greg: Ow!
Me: Yeah!
Greg: Ow!
Me: Yeah!
Greg: Oh god...that one hurt...oh god...

Mau Tai Shot 8

Greg: Oh god! ...okay...whoo!

Mau Tai Shot 7

Me: Rabbit rabbit rabbit.
Greg: Argh! You're full of mau tai and you still got it!

Me: Oh, God! Don't belch it!
Greg: I just did! It burns all the way!