Well, true.

SGM: We love to redo work.
Me: Yeah, 'cuz what's more fun than Oslo version 3?
SGM: Oslo version 4.

Foiled!

Me: Doesn't it say something, though, that I love you even though your garlic salt is gay?
Greg: *pause* You're just trying to bait me!

Fight Continues

Me: Do you think your garlic salt made my rice gay?
Greg: MY GARLIC SALT IS NOT GAY!

Fight!

Greg: You're stating two different fallacies now! There are tiny elephants, and my garlic salt is not gay!
Me: There are no tiny elephants, and that is the gayest garlic salt I have ever seen.
Greg: How much garlic salt have you really come into contact with?
Me: Plenty!
Greg: I'm willing to bet that at least 50% of the garlic salt you have ever seen is more gay than mine.
Me: I assert that there is no garlic salt as gay as that. It is the most gay garlic salt.

A poem

Aeon Flux
was worth three bucks.

(doo dah, doo dah)

Photos I Wish I'd Taken, Updated Daily

Home on the Fringe Daily Photo

The Guest Conductor

Me: He says the one we have is the wrong edition, but the right edition is out of print. We're going to borrow TUSAB's set.

COL: Is it a different tune?
Me: No.
COL: So he's going to be one of those.
Me: He's going to be a bit of a diva, sir.
COL: Oh, he's a lot of a diva. He likes to be the center of attention.
Me: But conductors are never like that, sir!
COL: Aw, bullshit.

Bad Line Break @ Boosey

Great Choral Works: No
Orchestra Needed!

New Rule

No Sousa Vocals.

Seriously. They need to stop. They aren't good. At all.

Revelation

Jenn: Now I know why there isn't a door there--because I would slam it!

Brilliant New Musician Motto I Just Came Up With

Don't be the reason rehearsal had to stop.

The Prep Conductor Speaks

LT: Let's go back a bit. With all these page turns, I don't know who to believe.

All-Girl Metal Band Name

Fussy Parts

Band Name, courtesy of Washington Week

Toxic Cocktail

Deterrent

Joel: I got married when I was a month shy of my 20th birthday. I mean, the chance of that working out is like one in a million. But at least it kept me from getting hit on by the gay guys when I was at the University of Michigan...actually, no, it didn't.

You gotta take the openings the world gives you.

Mikki: How far is it to Pluto?
Eddie: Further than Uranus.

A Concert Band Moment

I just put Music for Prague in its proper place in the alphabetized bins: right between "A Motown Medley" and "Over the Rainbow."

Noun String of the Day

holiday concert streaming madness

Who needs march scores?

Me: The score box went before this last spate of marches was added. But you know what? They're in 2.
LTC: And when the band stops, turn around and bow.

Sex Scene for E-flat Clarinet

(apparently to the tune of "Santa Baby")

Measure 1: "pull out"
Measure 29: "push in"
Measure 53: "pull out"
Measure 67: "push in"