Walk Tall

CPT: Who sings that?

Me: Beats me. I have David Tennant singing it.

Vinny: Yeah, but everything you have is a cover.

Me: Yeah, so?

YouTube, Summarized

Mike: The people, they have too much of the time, and too many of the
Legos.

That Certain Sound

Greg: What was that supposed to be?
Jake: A yawp of some sort or other.
Me: A barbaric yawp?
Jake: That's the one.

The Year of the NCO

Greg: The Army has a zodiac?!

(I'm Lying, Of Course)

Loran: There was a prolonged, very loud noise.
Jay: Uh, yeah. That might've been us.
Me: And even if it was, it had nothing to do with the blood on my head.
Loran: Uh huh.

He Has Opinions

Me: It's not so much math, it's probability.
Greg: Probability has math in it. Math that sucks.

And more.

Greg: My nose is itchy. And that has nothing to do with the Finnish
baserunners. I mean...
Me: What were you saying about Finnish baserunners?
Greg: Nothing!!

And yes, this did fit naturally into the conversation.

Me: You're signalling the Finnish undergound!
Greg: I wish!

Wherein Mike Wins the Text Conversation

Me: I'm at Catholic for a thing, and the room it's in has souvenirs from a priest's travels...
Me: ...and there's a carving of Ganesha from his trip to India...
Me: ...but since it's Catholic, it's labeled "man with the head of an elephant."
Mike: "Dude with lots of arms."
Me: "unknown figure seated on throne of skulls."
Mike: "Weird blue person."
Mike: "Monkey."

Clarification

Roman: By "bread," of course, I mean "pizza."

And yet this is itself true

Mike: Truth is stranger than Canadians.

Ah, inquisitive youth!

Dad: Do you have root beer?
Waitress: We do, but it's on draft, so it costs a little more. Is that
okay?
Kid: What's draft?
Waitress: It's where you pull down a big handle and it makes the beer
come out of a great big container...
Dad: ...called a keg...
Waitress: ...instead of a can.
Kid: Oh. What's a can?

Maurice Jarre

Me: Dangit, now I have Lara's theme from Dr. Zivago in my head.
Greg: Oh. I have "My Husband was a Weatherman."
Me: That's because you didn't collect music boxes as a child.

Game Day

Brian: The dragon is there whenever someone rolls a 1. So even if you
defeat him, the next time someone rolls a 1...
David: Cave of Infinite Dragons.
Alex: I need to remember to copyright that as a band name.
Greg: Eh, it's more of a debut album.

Truer Words Were Never Spoken

Greg: The internets is a dick.

Misery Loves Company

Me: I have "What's the Story, Morning Glory" stuck in my head now.
Guy from HFA: Try "Chain of Fools." That's what I've got.

were in ur dikshunaries

SGM: Since when is “vision” a verb?

Me: Since we verbed it, duh.

Career Advice

Greg: Don't get sent to Leavenworth for killing the band.
Me: But what if they need killin'?
Greg: Don't get sent to Leavenworth for killing the band.
Me: Ahhhhh, okay.

Why Is This Difficult?

Long-Winded Guy, summarized: I need a copy of [tune].
Me, summarized: Despite the fact that you failed to give me the title, composer, or any useful information, from your long description of the tune, I can tell you we don’t have it.
LWG, verbatim: I spoke to my friend today and he told me he thought the music went to the Ft. Dix music library. If you can locate the arrangement and get the exact title and the publishers name and address I can contact them and see what I can do.
Me, verbatim: I have forwarded your request to the band at Ft. Dix.

See also this classic post.

Brains!

Mike: Rarely does the addition of zombies lend itself to subtlety.