Me to Numb Nuts: Give me your address so I can send you X.
Numb Nuts to Me: *nothing*
Me to Soloist: Give me numb nuts' address so I can send him X.
Soloist to Me: Here's the address. He wants Y instead of X now, but I told him Y isn't possible. Is that correct?
Me to Soloist: That's true, Y isn't possible.
Numb Nuts to Me: Soloist said Y was possible.
Me to Numb Nuts: Y isn't possible. Give me your address so I can send you X.
Numb Nuts to Me: *nothing*
In case you're ever looking at Elinor Remick Warren's website, please note that NN stands for NYPL, CLU stands for UCLA, and DLC stands for the LOC.
Convenient!
"La Reine de la Mer" was sometimes performed under the title "Queen of the Sea."
--Paul Bierley (who should know better)
AF Band: The law does not apply to us!
The Law: Yes, it does.
AF Band: Okay, plan B. We ignore the law!
The Law: Like hell you will.
AF Band: Okay, plan C...er...we'll CHANGE the law!
*sigh* This will not end soon. I hope they have a plan D. I suggest: adhere to the law, like everyone else.
Here's the set list of the CD I'm cataloging right now:
Timepiece (2001)
Chamber Symphony (1993)
Stomp Igor (1998)
Canvas (2000)
Vortex (2000)
First Suite in E-flat (1909)
I can totally imagine the lead-up to that.
"Modern music is hard! My brain hurts."
"Yeah, but the CD is only like 40 minutes long."
"Eh, slap the Holst on the end. At least we won't have to rehearse it."
"Hey, yeah! Then we'll have a track anyone besides us will ever listen to!"
...Greg's nerd friend buying at the grocery store, in toto:
Toilet paper
Milk
Pop Tarts
Frozen Pizza
Doritos
Ramen
SGM K: ...and that's why Fort George G. Meade is the only post that uses the general's full name.
Me: Well, there's Fort Leonard Wood.
SGM K: And Fort Sam Houston.
Me: Right.
SGM K: So I guess it isn't.
The US Virgin Islands have a state song ("The Governor's Own") and a national anthem ("The US Virgin Islands March").
Who wants to tell them? Oh, I will. *ahem*
ATTENTION, CITIZENS OF THE VIRGIN ISLANDS. YOU ARE NEITHER A STATE NOR A NATION. YOU ARE A TERRITORY. WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE GUAM? YOU NEVER HEAR GUAM COMPLAINING AND MAKING UP THEIR OWN SONGS.
Bad news, folks! For six whole months you're going to have to judge people on merit instead of body fat percentage! Uh-oh!
I just noticed our cheap old vacuum has a dial on it with settings for "LOW," "MED," "HIGH," and "SHAG."
MAJ: What's this "September Dances?"
Me: No, it's "Sept."
MAJ: Right.
Me: Like, seven. Dances. Sept Dances. Sept.
MAJ: I don't get it.
The good news: I just found a music dealer whose phone number ends 1337.
The bad news: he almost certainly doesn't get it.
Me: Librarysergeantanderson.
Mike: Fifty-nine minutes.
Me: Excellent. Next time shoot for 119.
Mike: Is Beth around?
Me: Nope.
Mike: I'm trying to find the senior person. McGhee is next.
Me: Tell him to dismiss us.
Mike: That's the plan.
Me: It makes me laugh that there's a jazz band arrangement of this.
Jazzer: Why?
Me: Well, it's an opera.
Jazzer: It's a Miles Davis tune! It's very famous.
Me: Jackie sang it a couple of years ago.
Jazzer: It's Miles Davis!