I. At the Store
Me: Would you still love me if I spent $160 on shoes, $100 of which were Sketchers?
Greg: *cringe*
II. At Home
Me: These Sketchers are comfortable. I feel dirty.
Greg: Ha-ha.
Me: Do I need cut my feet off, or can I just soak them in bleach?
III. At Home, part 2
Me: I actually like these. I put the S in hypocrite.
Greg: Hypocriste.
Me: Hyspocrite. Hypsocrite. Oh, I like hypsocrite.
Greg: Me, too.
IV. Walking
Me: My heel is starting to hurt. It's these damn Sketchers. They turn on ya.
V. The next day
Me: Check it out--my heel bled through the band-aid.
Greg: Into your new Asics?
Me: Yep. I'm telling you, Sketchers are evil.
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