Choice Quotes from LBSC0735, December 10, 2009, Which I Apparently Never Posted

• I apologize for the ones that got bent. I had cat issues. She is clearly smarter than I am.
• I would appreciate, if you got an A, that you not complain about your grade.
• Evil trolls? The scheduling fairy? I don't know.
• You should all be eating a rubber chicken dinner and I should be doing a soliloquy.
• Proactive drinking? I'm not sure what that would be besides another band name or memoir title. Or both! Why be limiting?
• The way to handle IP in the archives is to weep quietly in the corner while drinking.
• Okay, I missed something. Or did something stupid and didn't realize it. Two choices, either viable.
• If graduations did mean people bursting into song, wouldn't more people show up?
• My PhD hat is one of those octagonal things, except it has a big poofy bottom, so it's like the 16th-century Dutch navy or something.
  

The Male Flautist: Loud 'n Proud

Me: The oldest Chimes of Liberty you have, which should be Feist from 1922: does it have second flute?
Laura: I don't know!
Me: You don't know that off the top of your head? How embarrassing.
Laura: Hey Rob, the oldest Chimes of Liberty we have, does it have second flute?
Rob: I'm not sure.
Laura: He's not sure.
Me: What the hell kind of flute player is he?
Laura: What kind of flute player are you, she wants to know.
Rob: The kind that plays first.

Brush with Fame

Me: Famous person!
Jonathan Coulton: Famous person!

I understand the reasons why you're hungry 'cuz so am I

Greg: The only question is, what do you want to do for breakfast, lunch, brunch, frunch, d-lunch, d-linner, d-leackfast, d-lightful?

My Hal Leonard contact was also kind enough to point this out today

John: Hello! Carry on! Remember, could be worse, you could be stuck in a windowless room when it's gorgeous out!
Matt: I'm completely sure he didn't need to go there.

Abominable Papercrafts

Me: Did you know there are "print and fold" mascots at vancouver2010.com?
Mike: No I did not, but I so don't want a stylized Canadian first-nations origami yeti in my house. Oh, wait, yes I do.

A Selection of High-Quality Typos So Far This Week

The Way You Loom Tonight
South Rampart Street Pavane
Sleigh Rice

Matt: Y'know, I would like to hear that pavane.

The Art of Conversation

Me: Hello! Would you like to talk about my headache? It's all I can think about.
Shari: My back is killing me.
Me: Would you like to talk about my headache to take your mind off of it?

Lest you think this blog is merely a catalog of stupid crap others say

Me: In my head, a group of children are yelling "thank you, TiVO chicken! Bok bok!"
...
Me: It's like Wil Wheaton. Well, it's like Wil Wheaton dressed as Colonel Sanders.

It's not all fun and games, you know.

Greg: God, this sobriety test is so boring!

Learning

Matt: I’m all about learning through failure. Lots and lots of failure. If it’s possible to screw it up, I’m there.

Two Snippets of Radio Announcements Heard While Abusing "Scan"

1. ...for various reasons. But that is why we have so many oratorios!
2. Elaine Stritch!

Greg Summarizes Rosemary's Baby

Greg: Yay, technology! Boo, devil worship!

So we're at this restaurant showing Jacques Pepin on a loop, right?

Me: Flanmergency!
Greg: How often do you have one of those?

Black Friday Shopping

Greg: The hard thing about Mike is you have to find something truly
awful. Just horribly, unforgivably bad.

Aloo Paratha

Me: Yesterday we had potato in a pie crust, so clearly now we need
potato stuffed in bread.
Joel: How far do you want to go with this?
Me: I want a turducken of starches!

Mathramblin'

Me: That's what your book of cowboy poetry will be called.
Greg: Ridin' across the prairie, I seen a five by seven grid of cows...

9.2% abv

Me: How ya doin'?
Greg: I'm almost capable of focusing on the task at hand!

Conversation Degradation

Greg: You gotta love a man who knows his sausages.
Me: Is that a penis joke? I've lost track.
Greg: When did they start?
Me: With the "rigor" joke.
Greg: Oh yeah. Anyway, I may not know my sausages that well, but I'm
reasonably familiar with them.
Me: ...okay, was that a penis joke?
Greg: Always assume everything is a penis joke.

Mart A

Me: One of the craft blogs in my reader has a free needlepoint pattern today: "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog." Do you see the flaw?
Greg: What flaw could you be talking about? Every pangram (the right name, I think) ever written joined every letter into a maze of language. Quite exciting!