Thursdays with Walter, week 3

This isn't worth anything, I hope. I use it as a Batman cape.

Help me! I'm an old map!

"page 31-34 creased, page 35 has a bullet hole, page 39 was eaten by mice, bloodstain on page 90"

This is a quintessential red state observation.

There is wisdom in the newspaper! You just have to dig deep for it.

There's only one other Rootie Kazootie book; oddly enough, it's called Rootie Kazootie.

We've all read a Little Golden Book. There's no stigma.

You all know the drill if the copyright mafia show up at your house. We live within the rules when it's possible.

It will be interesting to see if by the end of class you have a pound and a half of paper to lug around.

For this class only, I have created the Hindu god of dumpster diving. For those of you who weren't here, we talked about dumpster diving in the context of dumpster diving.

Paper you could take out to lunch, it's so good.

It's spelled "couching," but you don't say "couching" or you reveal your ignorance.

It was sitting there like paper with a match.

You're setting it on fire? It's going to burn, I think.

You try to make something safe, it's not permanent. You try to make something really exciting, it explodes.

It's...it's a horrid mutant waffle.

on burst testing: Why does that Kleenex just make it? Why does that shopping bag get you right up to the front door before the bottom drops out? They test that: it only needs to make it out of the store.

Never get into an armwrestling contest with a bookbinder.

It's a German machine--it makes no mistakes.

Tell 'em to go jump. You won't have a job left, but you'll have said that: that's fun.

"Shall" the vendor silly. You only have to "will."

In the meantime, you have an intermediary who speaks the language of the evil one: the lawyers.

If you start reading the boilerplate, I guarantee your mind will not be with you long.

You can't really do it at home using baking soda and a pair of pliers.

It's amazing: after all these years no one knows this stuff. I guess that's why I teach this class.

If there's anything in this profession that isn't a headache, let me know.

As soon as you buy it it already has shelf age, unless you go to the paper mill and grab it as soon as it comes out and throw it in a cooler like an organ transplant.

Now you can impress your HVAC buddies.

You're breathing last semester's air. Ew!

Whoever said it's not the heat, it's the humidity, they were the philosophers of conservation.

Why do I have that? That's a very good question, and you're never allowed to ask it again. Because if my wife hears it, then there'll be two.

Any kind of HVAC work, you'll need more than is left of Lehman Bros.

I don't know where they hire these people; there must be a lot of circuses going bankrupt.

It's like the baleen of a whale!

Microns are way smaller than peas.

You have once again incurred an expense.

If you have big pockets, get bigger ones.

There may be other people, but he's the guy.

On the scale of difficulty, this is toward impossible.

The image of people reading in sunlight? Might as well put a book in the oven. Here I am, cooking this book.

If you don't know if your building has drainage, you'll find out when you're swimming through your collection.

In the old days, it didn't matter: your carbon footprint could be a hundred miles wide and nobody cared.

You can see the humidity's having a little party down here.

It's very seldom 131F in the stacks.

First of all, the engineer is going to kill you, so you don't have to fire him.

On the web, you can see really snazzy, beautiful pictures; they look like they're in mylar.