Announcement: The Army Substance Abuse Program will relocate from [building] to [building] on 15 August 2006. There will be NO urinalysis samples processed from 15 August to 21 August 2006.
Me: Well, smoke 'em if you got 'em.
Mike: Well, remember, detectable THC stays in your system for 7 days, so that's not quite a big enough window. Ya might get lucky. But you could always go with some heroin. Or a big ol' bag of crack. Yummy.
Me: So they managed so send the email early enough to let the "good" people know where they are, but late enough that the "bad" people can't take advantage of it. Wow. I don't give them enough credit.
Mike: I think it's mostly for the brass. Cuz, as you know, them Generals love their coke.
Me: I just read this conversation to the Alcohol and Drug Control Officer, and she just said, "Yup."
Mike: Dude, I'm gonna get you fired.
Me: "I'm gonna have you killed." I waffled on responding with that, but I hope you'll catch the reference and not have me arrested.
Mike: My lawyer has recommended I not speak to you. You'll be hearing from him soon. He's very, very large.
Me: But...but...you did get the reference, right?
Mike: If you continue in this manner, I will be forced to bring harassment charges against you as well. Merry Christmas.
Me: But...I...
Mike: ...yesss? Apologies won't help you now.
Me: *pfft* Who was apologizing?
Mike: I hope you enjoy jail.
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