Thursdays with Walter, week 6

I have very good notes on this. Unfortunately they're not here. So tonight, we're going to get very imaginative.

You start making bird noises until a hawk attacks you.

As funds become available...so in other words, they're never going to do anything.

I don't have a pointer. Does anybody have any tall chalk?

If I want to see how Bob Dylan burns, I just light him up.

Look at what age does to you, baby. Whoa. That's what happens to rock stars. Can we have a moment of silence?

To test this, you have to build a structure and set it on fire, or it doesn't count.

Y'ever have to buy a roof?

So the guy shoots you when you're wet.

Maybe giraffes work there.

Land of a million sprinkler heads, all in a row, like a big huge insect.

The water doesn't know, "oh, I have to go around this post."

Within half an hour, the place is full of water and smoke, so I'm parboiled!

This is giving grandfathers a bad name: anything that's grandfathered in is a bad idea.

They call that the Fire Triangle in fire talk.

This is why this is the ideal job: you can only work four hours, and then you have to take a two-hour break.

You're gonna put a fire out with ice?

He moved to one side, and the pipe went whammo! If he'd stayed where he was, he would've been whammoed!

You get Fast Eddie's pipes, and two years later you have Fast Eddie's leaks.

Big smart-aleck preservation namby-pamby.

You're not supposed to git 'er done, you're supposed to git 'er tested!

Aspiration! Let's all aspirate!

It's an orange tube full of noses.

We've got a heavy breather on 2.

They test it by lighting something, hopefully not one of your rare books.

Why should we have an alarm? We're the fire department!

Get to be a consultant if you want to get rich. Hundred dollars an hour? Why stop there?

Removes oxygen from the space in four minutes? Removes oxygen from you a lot faster!

One of the problems with CO₂ is it's gonna kill you. Kind of a nasty side effect.

It's not gonna kill you. You might walk sideways or talk in a funny voice for the rest of your life, but what a price to pay.

Oh, well, we had a Gutenberg here, but it got blown off the shelf, a couple of pages got a little damaged...

Are computers all we talk about anymore?

If we don't get air in here soon, we're goners.

You see what happens with technology! Lucy showed us!

There's not much you can do about the weather. The weather's gonna win.

Doesn't that sound like a good idea? I could sell it to you.

Haven't you ever noticed when you move the toaster aside there's a little shadow of stuff?

That's my new favorite peeve.

I've talked fire suppression systems to death.

This is the real stuff, not just what I imagine.

This is the show and tell kingdom!

You touch the electrodes here...

It's like the flossing community. Big discussion.

And if it's late at night, it's a midnight quire.

Good for tomatoes, good for books.

Ah, the kettle stitch. Remains a mystery to me after all these years.

Bone folder! The terms start to thicken as you get into this.

Do you miss being in this class or what?

It has that acid free look.

If you don't know who Jack Kerouac is, you're not from this country.

He took some things in addition to his coffee.

Benzedrine is what there was before Starbucks. Starbucks is like a slow benzedrine.

When's the last time you were a hep cat?

You don't get free benzedrine.

The reality is that while you're at the Kerouac grave site, the guys mowing the cemetery are doing wheelies.

I was young once! Student: I was alive during the sixties. Hi! Send water!

This is relevant to the course...I'll make it relevant to the course.

There's a certificate of purity that comes with every bottle. You won't remember reading it, but in half an hour, you won't remember anything.

You're seeing things Jack Kerouac never saw.

They didn't do much editing; they just produced. Dickens was a tad wordy.

Craigslist, Harryslist, Edslist, next week it'll be Maryslist. They're all the same people. they're all Google. Google has all these pseudonyms so they can make extra money. It's like offshore banking.

The textbook industry is like an auction of your soul.

Before we go, you're gonna get one more glimpse of what's good about life.

I've accumulated quite a few things.

She was reading Kerouac.

That loaf of bread is so great to find in a book.

I need a refresher course in my own course.